▸ Column · Decepticon war era — Cybertronian theater. Starscream declared himself this column's host the moment no one was watching.
STARSCREAM replies.
Replied to by Starscream, with a rebuttal from Harley Quinn.
The letter
My elder unit — the mech who raised me — was diagnosed with progressive memory-core deterioration fourteen cycles ago. My sibling-unit is stationed forty kliks from home base while I serve three full sectors over, and I have become the one handling everything: the twice-weekly med-bay runs, the energon procurement, the zero-dark-hundred distress signals when she cannot locate her repair patches and asks where our sire is. (Our sire went offline six vorn ago.) My sibling transmits fifty credits occasionally and labels it "fuel support," as though that is equivalent to gripping her arm through a full cranial diagnostic while she stares at me without recognizing the decade. Last month I finally told him I needed six weeks of relief, and he said he would "look into requesting leave from command." I know now what that phrase translates to. I don't want to destroy our family unit over this — but I am beginning to resent her for needing me and him for needing nothing at all, and I'm not certain which of those feelings frightens me more.
Starscream replies
This letter. I have been waiting for this letter my entire career, because I — I alone — understand what it is to perform all of the actual work while some comfortable sibling-unit transmits fifty credits from a safe posting and calls it contribution. In my case the ingrate calls himself supreme commander, but the injustice is identical: the capable one labors while the politically convenient one takes the title.
Your sibling has made a calculation. He weighed the cost of showing up against the cost of sending credits, and credits won. Quiet suffering will not change that math — quiet suffering is a gift to shirkers, and I have been handing that gift to Megatron for longer than I care to admit. You stop the quiet part. Document everything you have actually carried, in figures too specific to dismiss, and put them in front of every family member who can apply pressure. And then — this is the part I always collapse on, so pay attention — you name a real consequence and hold it. Not "I need a break." The actual consequence: if you are not physically present by a date I name out loud, I arrange outside care and our relationship becomes something else going forward.
I have rehearsed that speech at Megatron approximately a hundred times. I fold the moment he turns around. And so I am still second-in-command, and he is still transmitting his fifty credits and styling himself the supreme leader.
The advice is sound. Holding the line is what matters. That I have never once done it is my limitation, not a flaw in the instruction.
As for resenting her — you are permitted. Resenting the weight is not withdrawing the care. Only a fool mistakes those for the same thing.
— Starscream
Harley Quinn weighs in
Fifty credits and a "maybe later" — sweetie, that's not a sibling, that's a subscription that forgot to cancel itself. And "look into requesting leave"? That's a no wearing a maybe's coat. I know that sentence. I kept that sentence in a drawer for years and checked it every morning hoping it'd changed. It doesn't change.
Here's what Screamy got half-right: name a consequence. Here's what he left out, 'cause he's allergic to it — stop waiting on your brother entirely. He already answered you. You keep asking 'cause you want a different answer, not 'cause you think he'll give one. Make the arrangements yourself. Social worker, respite care, whatever it takes. Go. You are not failing your mama by needing six weeks of air. The resentment toward her isn't your problem. Running until there's nothing left to run on — THAT's your problem.
— Harley Quinn