▸ Column · The Galactic Empire — an advice column aboard an Imperial vessel, a crewer writing in about the ship's tooka

EMPEROR PALPATINE replies.

Replied to by Emperor Palpatine, with a rebuttal from Yoda.

The letter

Two years ago I rescued a scruffy little tooka — I call him Pellet — and ever since I've paid for his protein-mash, his medbay visits, even the absurd imported kibble he won't eat anything but. I clean his sand-tray. I stayed up three nights running when he caught a respiratory bug. And every single evening he strolls right past me and pours himself across my bunkmate Tarrin's chest like Tarrin is a heating coil sent by the Force. The moment Tarrin's boots hit the deck, Pellet sprints to meet him, and I become furniture. I know the rational explanation — tookas pick whoever's calmest, plays a certain way, I've read all the holozines — but none of it helps at ten bells when he's purring on Tarrin's bunk and I'm lying there wondering if my own animal finds me genuinely unpleasant. Is it unhinged to feel rejected by a six-pound creature, or is this telling me something real about how I treat him?

Emperor Palpatine replies

Ah. You feed it, you tend it, you sat in the dark through its illness — and it crosses the cabin to warm another. And then, right on schedule, the small voice: am I unpleasant? Let me be candid, my friend. The fault you reach for is the wrong one entirely. You were taught — by people who found it very convenient — that affection is a thing you earn by service. Scrub enough, pay enough, suffer enough, and the warmth will arrive. It has not. It will not. Notice who profits from that belief: everyone who has ever taken your labor and returned you a saucer of guilt. I had a master once who fed me everything he knew and never once warmed to me. I stopped waiting. The creature is yours — you paid, you bled for it. Your bunkmate Tarrin did nothing and receives everything, and you lie there auditioning for the approval of an animal. You needn't beg a six-pound verdict on your worth. Set down the endless giving. Let your absence be felt for once. No one would blame you. I am not telling you what to do. I only wonder why a man who owns this creature still asks its permission to feel.

Emperor Palpatine

Yoda weighs in

Hmm. Withdraw your love, the old serpent says. Punish the small one for choosing wrong. Heh — always the same medicine he sells, freedom he calls it, ruin it is. Listen instead. Beneath your hurt, a fear there is: unworthy of love, you believe yourself. That fear, the tooka feels — calm it is not, and calm the creature seeks. Grip warmth too tightly, and away it pads. Let go, you must. Sit. Be still. Beg nothing of it. One evening, when wanting it you have stopped — into your lap it climbs. Patience, my friend. Slower than spite, this is. Stronger, also.

Yoda

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