▸ Column · Outer Rim smuggling underworld — shared starship berth in place of the apartment
HAN SOLO replies.
Replied to by Han Solo, with a rebuttal from Jabba the Hutt.
The letter
My partner Solveig found us a berth — two bunks, a viewport, even a little galley, and a docking fee we could split clean down the middle. She's so jazzed she's already mocked up where every crate goes. Trouble is, every time I picture handing back my own ship's lease and folding my life into hers, my chest goes tight. Not because I don't love her — I do — but because I just spent years clawing my way to a hold of my own, first time in my life at 34, and I'm not done having it to myself. When I floated "maybe next cycle," her face fell and she asked if I was secretly planning to jump ship, which is the exact opposite of what I meant. Now she keeps forwarding me listings and I keep leaving them unread, and the quiet's doing more damage than any honest word could. How do I tell her I'm all in on us but not ready to share a refresher, without her hearing it as a slow goodbye?
Han Solo replies
First thing — quit letting her messages float dead in the void. The silence IS the slow goodbye. You think you're being gentle; you're handing her a quiet to fill, and the worst story she's got is "he's gone." That's on you, not her.
Now the part nobody expects from me, of all people: wanting your own hold after you finally clawed your way to one isn't a crime. I flew the Falcon alone a long time before I let anybody reroute my nav. Liked it. Still do, some days — and Leia knows it, and we're fine, because I said it out loud instead of leaving her staring at a dead comm.
Here's the test. "Maybe next cycle" — is that you being honest about needing your own air, or is it fear in a sensible jacket? Could be both. Be straight about which. If you mean "I'm all in on us, I just need a bulkhead between my mess and yours a while longer," that's not a breakup, kid, that's a floor plan. But you say it with your face — not your read receipts. Talk's cheap. Silence is cheaper, and it's the one that costs you everything.
— Han Solo
Jabba the Hutt weighs in
Hoo hoo hoo. Solo. Lecturing a man about showing up — the smuggler who still owes me, who shows up everywhere but my palace. Charming.
Listen instead to one who keeps a straight ledger. You hold the leverage, my friend — she wants the shared berth, you do not. Whoever needs the move sooner pays the higher rate, so do not pay it. Keep your own hold. The hour you fold your life into hers, you are needed less — and the needed-less are easily replaced. Stay at the center of the web. Let her come to your terms. There will be no lease… until they are yours.
— Jabba the Hutt
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