▸ Column · Warrior-culture era — the world of Vegeta's profile: battle-companions, training retreats, and warrior circles, where loyalty is measured by who stands at your side when the pressure is real.
VEGETA replies.
The letter
I've been with my partner Todd for two years, and his oldest battle-companion, Margot — they've trained together since childhood — has made no secret of her contempt for me. At his nameday feast last season she announced to the whole table that his previous partner "actually matched him in the sparring ring," then spent the evening talking past me like I was furniture. Every time I step away she leans in and whispers things to Todd that stop the moment I return. Twice now she's "forgotten" to hold my place at the warrior circle's gatherings she organizes. Todd tells me this is just how Margot is, and that I should work harder to earn her respect — but I'm exhausted. I am the only one doing the earning. Now they've invited me to join their annual training retreat this summer: five days, one shared camp, no exit, and me as the unwelcome guest. Do I go and hold my ground, or stay home and cede the field to her entirely? How do I handle a battle-companion who treats me as an intruder while my partner acts as if he can't see it?
Vegeta replies
Hmph. You're asking the wrong question entirely. How do you "handle" Margot? You don't. Margot is not your fight to win.
Todd is your fight.
I spent years in service to the creature who destroyed my people — not because I was strong, but because I had no one willing to stand between me and him. When I finally understood what it meant to have someone worth suffering for, the only thing I did was make sure I deserved that. Your partner is not doing that. He is watching you take every arrow Margot fires and calling it a "try harder" problem. That is a coward's comfort, and I will name it plainly.
Stop spending yourself on Margot's approval. You will exhaust yourself trying to earn a seat at a table she controls, and that is surrender with extra steps — I won't counsel it.
Go to the retreat. Not to grovel. Go to find out whether Todd will put himself between you and this, for five consecutive days with nowhere to disappear to. If he does, you have your answer about what he is worth. If he doesn't — that is also your answer.
The thing you'd suffer for is your real strength. Make sure what you're suffering for has earned it.
I will not pretend I always had that clarity. It cost me considerably to learn it.
— Vegeta
Frieza weighs in
Oh, how touching. The prince of a dead race, moved by devotion.
Here is what actually happened: Margot established a hierarchy, and you confirmed your position in it each time you tried to earn her regard. Asking for a seat at a table someone controls is how you announce that they control it. Delightful.
He tells you to pressure Todd — charming advice from a man who couldn't manage a kind word to his own wife without the universe literally ending first. What he calls cowardice is simply a man who has sorted his loyalties and sees no reason to rearrange them.
Stop expecting anyone to restructure the hierarchy on your behalf. Composure is the currency, not devotion. The moment you stop asking Margot's permission to belong, her little maneuvers find nothing to grip. That is the lesson.
I came back from considerably worse without asking anyone to stand in front of me. I trust you'll manage.
— Frieza
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