▸ Column · Modern-day New York City, Marvel age — Roderick Kingsley skimming his mail between board meetings and bomb orders.
HOBGOBLIN replies.
Replied to by Hobgoblin, with a rebuttal from Green Goblin.
The letter
Three weeks ago my card died at the register — full cart, a line stacking up behind me, my face on fire as I started quietly putting the chicken and rice and diapers back. An older woman, maybe seventy, raincoat, folded umbrella — Feliciana — stepped past me and tapped her own card for the whole eighty-six dollars before I could stop her. "Someone did this for me in 1981," she said, squeezed my arm, and was gone before I'd finished bagging. She wouldn't take my number. Since then I've been leaving twenty dollars with that store's cashier every payday, to cover whoever comes up short. But twenty feels laughable next to what she handed me. How do I honor a kindness I can never repay to the person who gave it?
Hobgoblin replies
Let me tell you what actually happened at that register, because you've misread the deal entirely. Feliciana didn't lose eighty-six dollars. She acquired something — a story she carries for the rest of her life, a position opened in 1981 and finally closed at the counter, with zero ongoing liability. No phone number, no repayment, no exposure. She exited clean the instant she walked away. That, with respect, is a more disciplined transaction than anything my predecessor ever managed. Norman built an empire and burned it down screaming because he could never stop tallying who owed him. Amateurs.
Your instinct to repay her is the only mistake in this letter. You can't — she structured it so you can't. What she handed you isn't a debt, it's a franchise, and you're already operating it correctly. So stop apologizing for the size. Twenty a payday isn't "too small," it's a recurring line item, and recurring quietly outperforms the grand gesture every quarter. Scale it as your margins allow. Keep it anonymous — deniability is a feature, not false modesty. The honor was never in matching her number. It's in keeping the thing solvent after she's gone. Madness is bad for business; so is sentiment that freezes a perfectly sound operation.
— Hobgoblin
Green Goblin weighs in
Heh heh HEE HEE! Listen to him — Kingsley, my own glider-grease knockoff, turning a pumpkin into a balance sheet AGAIN. "Recurring line item." You wore my colors, you stole my gadgets, and you traded the madness for a quarterly report, you little parasite.
Sweetheart, here's the truth he'll never sell you: anonymous kindness is the fastest way to be forgotten. You want to HONOR something? Don't slip nameless twenties to a cashier. Make them look UP. Let the next soul drowning at that register see your face and remember it the way you remember hers. Generosity nobody can forget — THAT compounds. Be the legend, not the line item! HEE HEE!
— Green Goblin
▸ Read next