▸ Column · Modern noir Gotham — sharing a loft with a man earning gala money while she earns gutter money
CATWOMAN replies.
The letter
My partner and I took a loft together in Gotham eight months back, and we split rent and utilities straight down the middle because it felt "fair." Trouble is, he clears about ninety-four grand writing code while I scrape by on forty-one as a dental hygienist, and every month I'm quietly bleeding my savings to keep up my half. Last week I had to skip a friend's weekend away — couldn't spare four hundred dollars — and he turned around and booked himself a solo ski trip without a second thought. When I floated splitting things by what each of us actually earns, he said it felt "weird" to pay more for the same square footage and that he'd worked hard to get where he is. I don't want to punish him for doing well. But I can't keep draining my emergency fund to prop up an "equal" that isn't equal. Am I asking for something unreasonable, or have I got this backwards?
Catwoman replies
First thing I do in any room is find who's holding the keys, sugar, and in that loft it's him — not because he's sharper, because he's got the bigger number and he's decided that number is a medal he earned instead of dice he rolled. "Worked hard to get where he is." Honey, everybody Gotham ever stepped on worked hard too. They just don't get a weekend in the mountains for it. So yes, proportional's reasonable. But you already know that, or you wouldn't be writing a thief for permission. Here's what you're missing: the math was never the test. The test was last week. He watched you sit out that trip, watched your cushion thin to nothing, and booked his own without a flinch. That's the answer, handsome — that's who he is when kindness costs him a dollar. So open an account he doesn't know about and start feeding it tonight. Your own claw out. Make the proportional ask, once, clean, and listen to the whole reply. But cut your key first. I have never once walked into a room I couldn't walk out of, and neither should you. Decide everything else after the lock is yours.
— Catwoman
Batman weighs in
Kyle is half right. An exit is not a plan. It is a confession that you already expect to lose. Don't squirrel away a secret account. Put the numbers on the table where he cannot look away. Two incomes. The trips you never took. One question, asked once. His answer is evidence — and you already have it. He gave it to you on that mountain. Selina would have you slip out quiet with a key he never sees. I would have you stand there with the truth and your savings both intact. Stop waiting for him to change. People show you who they are. Believe them the first time.
— Batman
▸ Read next