▸ Column · Frieza's galactic Planet Trade fleet — an officer writing in about a joint-quarters transfer order from the partner he serves alongside
FRIEZA replies.
The letter
I serve aboard the fleet, and Vesca and I have been paired two cycles now. At last meal she set a quarters-transfer order on the table between us — joint officers' billet, takes effect next rotation — and told me she'd already notified her bunkmate she was moving out. I do care for her, and I can imagine a long future together, but I've only ever held private quarters, and the thought of merging everything down to the ration lockers in a few weeks tightens something in my chest. She keeps sending me swatches for the wall banners as though it's settled, so every day I don't say "yes" feels like a quiet "no." When I asked for more time she went silent and asked whether I was stalling because I don't see a future here — which truly isn't it. How do I tell her I'm committed to her but not to her timetable without making her feel rejected?
Frieza replies
Oh, how delightful — you've come to me clutching the word "committed" as though it were a shield, when what you actually mean is that someone has issued you an order and you're terrified of how to decline it gracefully.
Let me arrange the furniture you've so carefully avoided seeing, dear. Vesca did not propose. She filed. She notified her bunkmate, she's hanging the banners, she set the rotation. She has, in short, decided — and presented you the decision as scenery. And you? You're rehearsing how to ask permission to breathe. You poor thing.
Your chest tightens not because closets frighten you, but because you've already surrendered the question of whose timetable governs, and now you're merely haggling over how apologetically to lose. That is not commitment. That is a subordinate drafting a polite memo.
So. Stop explaining. Explanation is what one does from one's knees. State your terms once — serenely, warmly, without a tremor — and let her decide whether she'll accept the pace of the one she claims to want. Her silence isn't rejection, darling. It's a negotiating posture. Do try not to mistake it for the end of the universe. It's terribly common, that error, among the small.
— Frieza
Goku weighs in
Frieza, buddy, you turned two people who like each other into a takeover. Heh — you really can't see anything that isn't a throne, huh?
Listen, pal: she's not "filing orders." She's excited and a little scared you'll say no, same as you're scared to say yes. That tight feeling in your chest? That's the real opponent — not her. Go look right at it. Tell her plain, today: "I'm all in on us, I just move slower on this." Don't dress it up, don't stall — stalling's the cheap shortcut.
Then propose a date YOU can stand behind and mean it. That's a fair fight. Now eat something and go talk to her.
— Goku
▸ Read next