▸ Column · Contemporary United States — Deadpool's modern comic universe
DEADPOOL replies.
The letter
So my dad — Michael — and I have been estranged for about twenty years. He walked out after a huge screaming match at my brother Camden's graduation, and I swore I was done. Blocked his number and meant it.
Last week my daughter Millie turned six. On kind of a whim I texted him a photo of her blowing out the candles. He called back in under a minute. He was crying so hard he could barely say hello. We talked for two hours — two hours — and he remembered stuff I thought he'd forgotten completely. My old nickname. How my mom was doing. And he apologized without me even bringing up the past.
I'm still kind of floating from it, honestly. But also scared? We slipped right back into talking like no time had passed, and I know that's not true. There's twenty years of stuff we haven't even touched yet. How do I keep this fragile, good thing from falling apart before we get to any of it?
— Floating in Queens
Deadpool replies
Hi, yes, it's me — Wade Wilson, advice columnist, still unclear on how this job happened to me — sitting at a very normal desk with a very normal chimichanga and definitely not quietly identifying with literally every word you just wrote.
Here's the move you're pulling, and I say this without any judgment because I am personally the gold medalist at this particular sport: you're pre-grieving. You got the miracle — the minute callback, the apology that showed up without you having to drag it out of anyone — and your brain immediately went "great, now when does the bad part start." You're squeezing this thing so hard to keep it safe that your hands are going to be the actual problem.
The twenty years of stuff is real. It'll surface. You don't have to excavate it this week. Here's what I know from personally blowing up every relationship I ever had before anyone else could do it first: the apology already happened. Millie's candles already happened. He already cried. Those are done. They belong to you now and nobody can take them back.
You don't protect a new fragile thing by turning it into a project. You protect it by picking up the phone next time.
That's it. That's the whole instruction. I promise.
...Okay, the chimichanga is gone. We're done here.
— Deadpool
Wolverine weighs in
Wade's right that you can't grip it safe. He's wrong about the risk.
Twenty years don't disappear 'cause one call went well. When the hard moment comes — and it will, bub, probably when you're not ready — you're gonna feel the pull to let it slide. Keep the peace. Circle around the real thing. That's what actually breaks reconnections. Not the fear. The truth you swallowed to protect the mood.
No strategy needed. When he asks something real, answer honest. When you've got something real to ask, ask it.
The call happened. Now do the next one like it means something.
— Wolverine
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